Chords for "I Was Never Enough" -- Matty Mullins of Memphis May Fire

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _
_ [G] _ [Ab] _ I _ _ _
_ _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ [A]
was really young.
My mom and dad split up and my brother struggled with depression and got really suicidal.
It seemed like no matter what, nothing I ever did was good enough. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [Bb] With my brother, I got to the point where I had to try to stop caring.
Feeling like something that day could happen that would end his life.
Every day, day after day, feeling that and trying to do things that would be enough and
then never feeling like enough.
Eventually, I had to get to the point where I was like, okay, I don't care.
Do whatever you're going to do.
It wasn't until later in life when I started to feel like I was inadequate for so many
people and I didn't understand that feeling.
I was just feeling so much anxiety until I started doing therapy and that kind of came
out in one session.
I was like, whoa.
Ego and selfishness played a big role in my life and who I was and who people knew me
to be like my bandmates and my friends and stuff.
It was obviously insecurity.
Me trying to overcompensate, feeling like I didn't add up to what I needed to be and
turned into me trying to be this larger than life character to make myself feel like I
was good enough for the position I was in.
I guess growing up not feeling like enough, as an adult, I wanted to be more than enough.
I wanted to be everyone's hero and to be this big rock star that had so many good things
to say and saving people's lives and everything.
Getting so caught up in that, I realized a lot of what I was trying to accomplish was
not getting done because I was trying to have that image.
A lot of my life in this band looked like that leading up to when I had my first panic
attack and fully experienced what anxiety can do.
Never having recognized anxiety in my life for what it was, thinking that I just feel
like I'm going to blow off.
Until that happened and being like, alright, now I feel like I don't have control anymore
and now I feel like I need to do something about this.
What is going on?
What is causing this?
It's gotten so bad that sometimes I'll think that being dead would be better than how I feel.
I had [A] a lot of anger.
I put up a lot of walls.
It would take just the smallest thing to set me off.
[F] My bandmates or my family members or whatever.
_ [A] _ Trying to create that larger than life persona so that my family [Bb] members knew I was successful
and my friends knew that I had worked hard and gotten to where I got because I deserve it.
That whole, I think that's the American dream.
Everybody's always chasing success, [Am] trying to prove their worth.
When [A] I realized that anxiety and depression were changing who I was and making me less
bold, making me less strong, just less of a man is what it made me feel like.
I was like, I have to take every and any step to get back to who I used to be.
Not knowing that when I would take these steps I would be better than I ever was before.
Obviously I tried medication [Bb] and I went to therapy.
Getting into a routine of diving deeper and deeper and understanding _ the one that loves
me most and how much he loves me and the way that he loves me and the way to see it.
So biggest defining moment that changed my life is when I chose to be like, okay, I know
that the way that you love me is not because of something I've done or something that I can do. _
Understanding so much of life and so much of who I am is out of my control and understanding
that at the same time that's beautiful and that's exactly how it's supposed to be.
Accepting it and running with it.
And that's why I'm able to wake up and [N] be happy today.
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [Am] _ _ _ _ _
[G] _ _ _ [Ab] _ _ _ _ [N] _